“I ‘heard’ myself snap at my son about something. …I would never speak in that tone of voice to my mother, my sister, or any of my friends. …I cringed at the tone of voice I used with my son.”
– Starlene Stewart
From the archives: Posted on 26th Nov 1996
“One question you might ask before expressing displeasure is: ‘How would I react if I saw something else talking to this person this way?’ If I had seen another person talking to her that way, I would have been incensed. When people criticize her for what she did, I defend her. Getting angry was hypocritical, and it really looks bad.”
Along these same lines, I’m sure most of us have thought this. In the car the other day, I “heard” myself snap at my son about something. And, it occurred to me that I would never speak in that tone of voice to my mother, my sister, or any of my friends. I’m not sure if this is attributed to the fact that I was raised to believe this behavior was absolutely unacceptable and I squelch it automatically all the time with adults? I cringed at the tone of voice I used with my son.
Made me think—and this isn’t the first time I’ve been aware of this. Could it possibly be, that I rarely speak to him in such a tone, and so every time I happen to, I get hit with that thought? Just wondering aloud.
See also:
Starlene Stewart, 1996, ‘How do our angry critical outbursts look from a different perspective?’, https://takingchildrenseriously.com/how-do-our-angry-critical-outbursts-look-from-a-different-perspective